pod ep 8 short naps
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Sleep by Alex podcast. I am a certified pediatric sleep consultant and a mom of three, and I will be bringing you quick science backed sleep advice to get you and your baby or toddler sleeping well
Hey everyone. Welcome back. As always, thanks for tuning in again this week. I appreciate you so much.
I am coming off of a nice little getaway for the long weekend, which was really nice. Spend some time away from my work and spend a few days just hanging with the kids and the husband, which is really great.
I am feeling refreshed and ready to go, and I'm really excited for this podcast because I can't tell you how many messages I get about this topic.
Today we're actually talking all about short naps, why your baby might only sleep for 30 minutes, and what you can do to help them nap for longer. This episode was actually inspired again from listener question. [00:01:00] By the way, thank you for sending me your questions. As always, you can send them to Sleep by Alex [email protected] and just explain to me what you've got going on in that email.
You can even send it in a voice memo so we can hear you, and that'll give me a chance to answer your question on the podcast so if you're interested in that and have something going on, send your questions to Sleep by Alex [email protected]. Thanks to all of you who have already been sending them.
This listener question is from Marley. Hey Marley. Marley says, how do you get a five month old that's breastfed and used to rocking or feeding to sleep to take longer than a half an hour nap during the day?
Oh, okay. Marley, you're dealing with a super common problem here, the dreaded 30 minute nap. Ugh. The bane of my existence sometimes, and it's so funny. I'm sure your baby has their own quote unquote 30 minute nap.
It's 27 minutes. It's 34 minutes, it's 41 minutes on the [00:02:00] dot. They have their own little like cycle that they always wake up at. It can feel so frustrating. So today we're gonna talk all about short naps, why they happen, what you can do about it, and then at the end I'm gonna circle back to Marley's specific question and get her some next steps.
Okay, here we go. So what counts as a short nap? Let's first define a short nap before we jump into this. In general, anything less than an hour is technically considered a short nap. Now, this is not to stress you out. This is not to say that. Every single nap your baby takes needs to be over an hour.
Sometimes short naps are needed or common. Sometimes nap schedules, especially if you're on 3, 4, 5 naps a day are going to include a cat nap.
Or sometimes you have a newborn with unpredictable naps and some naps are only 20 minutes. This is all okay. I'm gonna get into all of this coming up here, but in general, when I say [00:03:00] the term short nap, I'm referring to anything less than one hour long.
Another thing I'll say before I move on to why short naps happen is if short naps work for you and your baby, try not to stress too much about what like Instagram tells you you need to do. If you are okay with your baby short naps and your baby seems happy. Well rested. They are not cranky or overtired.
They're sleeping really well at night. If you feel like everything's going well, there's no need to change anything. But I have a feeling if you're here listening to this episode, that it's because you're either feeling a little burnt out, maybe exhausted. You spend all of this time like trying to nail your baby's wake window or whatever it may be.
Getting them to sleep , just for them to wake up 30 minutes later. No matter what you do, you don't have much time to care for [00:04:00] yourself or your basic needs, let alone do something like relax or do a hobby or workout or whatever you wanna do. You're a little tired of these crappy short naps or unpredictable naps.
If that's you, then stick around till the end. You need to hear all of this. Okay?
So now that we know what a short nap is, let's talk about some reasons why they may happen. By the way, I've saved the most important reason you do not want to miss for last. So please don't skip. You need to stick around to the end. For that last reason, also, after I list these reasons, I am gonna circle back to Marley's question, and I'm gonna give her two specific choices here for dealing with her baby's short naps.
Okay? Enough of that, the first reason for a short nap could be your baby's sleep environment. While your fresh little newborn may have been perfectly fine, napping in a bright, noisy room. This can change [00:05:00] around six to eight weeks usually. Not all the time, but usually at this age, babies can become more stimulated by their environment and they can easily get overstimulated at times.
If you're finding all of a sudden your baby's having a hard time sleeping longer than, let's say 30 minutes, 40 minutes. Consider taking a look at where they're taking their nap. Babies typically sleep best in a dark cool room with very little stimulation. Blackout blinds or curtains are super helpful. A sound machine to drown out noise and help lu them to sleep can also be helpful.
You wanna make sure that when your baby wakes up in between nap sleep cycles. There's nothing much in their surroundings that can stimulate them or cause them to have a full wake up. And if you're like, what the heck is a nap sleep cycle? What are you talking about? Don't [00:06:00] worry, I'm definitely gonna get there.
Keep listening. But first, just make sure you've really nailed down your baby's sleep environment. So we're setting your baby up for success to get a nice long nap.
Reason number two, your baby may be stuck with these short naps is some sort of issue with their sleep schedule or wake windows. The amount of time they're awake before their nap can affect the way they sleep at that nap. If they're awake too long and become overtired, they can have a harder time actually falling asleep and staying asleep.
If your baby is not awake long enough before they're nap, they may actually be under tired, which means they aren't going to have enough sleep pressure or drive to take that longer nap. They are just like perfectly rested after a short nap. They just aren't tired enough to sleep longer, so you really wanna make sure you've nailed down your baby's [00:07:00] wake windows.
Yes, there are plenty of averages you can find online when it comes to average wake windows at your baby's age, . But you may need to tweak here and there and find what works best for your baby. Wake windows are just averages, so it's really important to figure out your baby's sweet spot.
Okay, reason number three, or baby maybe taking short naps is because they're hungry. Most babies, I'm saying most babies are going to need a feed around every two to three hours during the day. If your baby had their feed two hours before you're putting them down for their nap, they may wake up 30 minutes later hungry and not be able to sleep for longer.
So when you're putting your baby down for their nap, take a look at when they last had a feed. Make sure you've given them at least a solid hour before you think they're gonna wake up and be hungry for their next feed.
All right. Reason number four for short naps is your baby's age, and [00:08:00] this one can be a tough pill to swallow because sometimes it's just developmentally normal for your baby's naps to be short. Short naps are super common in the newborn months, especially newborn naps are unpredictable. Some are going to be 20 minutes, others are going to be two hours.
This is normal and okay, if your baby is under four months old, they're likely going to need lots of help getting a nap that's longer than 20 or 30 minutes, especially if you're laying them down in their bassinet, let's say for a nap, something like that. Some babies are just not developmentally able to extend their naps independently for quite a while.
Some until five or six months old. So when your newborn wakes up from a short nap, you can spend 10 to 15 minutes holding them and trying to rock them back to sleep. This is your best way to extend your newborn's naps to over an hour.
We cannot expect them to be laid down [00:09:00] and take a solid one to two hour nap on their own quite yet.
And don't worry, as I mentioned earlier, not every single one of your baby's naps is going to be over an hour. Remember? Sure we aim for that little like one to two hour sweet spot a lot of the time. But you don't need to stress yourself out spending your entire day in the nursery extending your newborn's naps.
Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't, and that is okay. Helping your baby extend their naps can help lay a foundation for future independent long naps, but it's not required or feasible a hundred percent of the time.
So just to reiterate, many babies, four months and under are going to need lots of help sleeping for longer than that sort of 20 to 40 minute window.
And some are gonna hang on to some cat naps until five or six months old.
Okay. Finally, we're gonna get to the most important reason your baby may be taking short [00:10:00] naps, and then I'll circle back to Marley's question. Okay, so the number one most important reason your baby is taking short naps is sleep associations. I see this time and time and time again, this is a big one and it's most likely the ticket to longer naps for you.
Okay. Listen up a nap. Sleep cycle is usually around 30 to 40, 45 minutes long. So what exactly does that mean? Well, it means your baby falls asleep and then around 30 to 45 minutes later into their nap, they're likely gonna come up into like a lighter stage of sleep and sometimes completely out of sleep before going back down into deeper rest again.
So what, does this have anything to do with sleep associations? Well, if your baby requires something specific, especially something from you that they can't do on their own to fall asleep at the beginning of nap time, if they require that specific thing to [00:11:00] fall asleep at the beginning of nap time, they're likely going to come up out of that sleep in between sleep cycle transitions,
and wake up needing similar help to get back to sleep. Imagine falling asleep in one place, like in your bed, and 30 minutes later waking up in another place like on the couch. You wouldn't go right back to sleep.
You'd probably wake up and be a little confused and not know what to do for a moment, and then you'd have to like wake up and get up and go to your bed and get whatever you need in order to fall back asleep. This is what's happening with your baby. Your baby may be falling asleep in your arms with either rocking or feeding, or maybe they're falling asleep in their bed, but you're present with them.
You're patting them, you're sitting with them. When they wake up in between a sleep cycle and for a nap, remember it's probably gonna be like 30 or 45 minutes. When they wake up in between a sleep cycle, they're gonna look around and be like. Where the hell am I or where's my [00:12:00] parent, or where's my milk, or where's my rocking, or whatever they need in order to go to sleep.
If your baby requires help falling asleep at the beginning of the nap, they may continue waking up 30 to 45 minutes into their nap for literally months on end. So what can you do?
So before you're stuck with 30 minute naps for months on end, let me tell you what you can do. You can actually teach your baby to fall asleep on their own completely independently. You wanna be able to lay them down in their crib, awake, not drowsy. Ugh. Wait, what? Not drowsy but awake. What are you talking about? Nope. Not drowsy. At the end of their wake window. Yes. Sleepy. Yes. Half asleep. Super drowsy, almost asleep. No, we want them to be awake and you're able to leave the room and they can fall asleep [00:13:00] all on their own.
This is going to make it so much more likely that when they wake up 30 or 45 minutes in, they'll just stir a little bit. They'll readjust themselves, maybe roll over, you know, suck on their hand, whatever it may be, and fall back asleep.
And before I go back to Marley's question, let me just add one thing to this. I am specifically talking about babies who are older than four months old. It is normal for newborns to need help falling asleep and staying asleep. Sleep associations are not going to make or break your newborn's naps.
Because before the age of four months old, we really don't need to be trying to teach self-soothing skills. It's just not developmentally appropriate. You can of course, practice independent sleep in the newborn months. Yes, absolutely. But we can't expect them to learn to fall asleep on their own and lengthen their naps independently, consistently before four months old before [00:14:00] then.
They're often going to require you picking them up and finishing off with a contact nap, and that is okay and normal. Okay, here we come back to you, Marley. Let's repeat her question just in case you forgot. How do you get a five month old that's breastfed and used to rocking or feeding to sleep to take longer than 30 minute naps during the day?
. Hopefully by now, Marley, you've seen why your five month old is only taking 30 minute naps. They're falling asleep while feeding or while rocking and then being laid down. Of course, 30 minutes later they're gonna wake up. Where's my milk? Where's my rocking? So I'm gonna give you two options here.
Option number one, you're okay with feeding and rocking to sleep. You're okay with the independent naps only lasting 30 minutes. If that's the case, you can extend your baby's naps by picking them up after that 30 minutes and spending 10 to 15 minutes trying to get them back to [00:15:00] sleep and finish off with a contact nap.
This is gonna help your baby's body get used to sleeping at least that one to two hours, right, with lots of help from you. Option number two. You're ready for independent naps that are consistent. One to two hours. Your baby gets restorative. Rest in their bed. They're happy, and you're happy because you actually have some time and space to fill your own cup.
Relax, take care of the house, work out, do a hobby, read whatever it is you wanna do that's gonna make you a better mom. While they're awake. In this case, you'll wanna teach your baby how to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. If you're wondering how to teach your baby to fall asleep independently and how to get your baby to nap for one to two hours at a time on a consistent schedule and how to cut down on nighttime wake-ups if you're dealing with those as well.
That's where I've got you every step of the way. Let's get you a doable quick [00:16:00] plan that is individualized for your baby and your sleep situation. Remember, you can always use the Code Podcast for 50% off your first month and the Sleep by Alex membership where you get instant access to my four to 24 month sleep course.
The ability to send me your questions anytime of the day for a quick response. , the ability to attend all of my live q and a calls. I've got you every single step of the way. . I will help you get there in the next couple weeks. Okay? If you're more of a one-on-one type of person, you can always schedule a consultation package instead, and I'll work with you one-on-one over the phone to get all of this nailed down with you and your baby.
I've linked all of this information in the show notes if you are curious.
So just to recap, short nap are super common and often they're developmental. If you've got a baby that's younger than five or so months, you might be dealing with these short naps for a little while,
but I'm going to [00:17:00] encourage you to understand that there are steps you can take to support longer naps. You don't need to be stuck with these crap naps for months on end. Okay. So reach out if you need support. . Check the show notes if you'd like those longer NAP in the next couple weeks.
And as always, if you found this helpful, please consider subscribing or leaving a review or sharing this episode with another parent. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you next week.
