4 Reasons Your Baby or Toddler is Fighting Their Nap

Is your baby or toddler fighting their naps? In this blog post I will cover 4 common reasons why naps may be a struggle and what you can do to improve nap time.

Naps are essential for your baby’s growth and development. Good daytime sleep often leads to better nighttime sleep. Naps may also be some of the only times you have to take care of yourself! You deserve to fill your cup during the day as well.

I know how frustrating it can feel when your baby or toddler is fighting their nap. You are probably ready for a break, you know they need rest, and it may feel like you’ll do anything to get them to sleep.

Why are they fighting their nap?

When a baby or toddler is refusing a nap or having a hard time getting to sleep, it’s typically because of one of these four reasons:

1. They are overtired.

You may think that when your baby gets tired, they will nap. You may also assume that the more exhausted they are, the better they will sleep. Unfortunately, it does not always work that way. Babies who have stayed up for too long and have become overtired often have a much harder time getting to sleep and staying asleep. An overtired baby fighting a nap may look like a lot of crying and fussing. They may seem exhausted but just can't give in and get to sleep.

Following age-appropriate wake windows is the best thing you can do to prevent overtiredness. A wake window is the amount of time your baby is awake before they need to sleep. Below are the average wake windows before naps by age:

0-3 Months: 45-90 minutes

4 Months: 90 minutes

5 Months: 2 hours

7 Months: 2-3 hours

14 Months: 5 hours

Some babies will power through their sleepy cues and then not seem very tired when it comes to the end of their wake window. They can go from happy to a tired mess in a matter of minutes. Babies are also easily overstimulated, especially after 6-8 weeks old. It is important to reduce stimulation as nap time approaches. Move to a dark room with a white noise machine. Getting your baby down for a nap when sleepy, and not tired is important.

Watching for early sleepy cues in combination with wake windows is especially helpful in the newborn months.

2. They are undertired.

If your baby doesn’t seem ready for a nap when it’s time to go down (and they are not displaying signs of overtiredness) then they could be ready for longer wake windows. An undertired baby can seem wide awake and take a long time to fall asleep at nap time. This could mean your baby needs more awake time before offering them a nap.

So how do I know if my baby is undertired or overtired?

Signs of an undertired and overtired baby can sound similar. You have to take a look at your baby’s demeanor. If your baby is overtired at naptime, it can take longer to fall asleep. This usually looks like your baby crying and fighting you on their nap. They will seem upset and tired but won’t go to sleep. An undertired baby can also take a long time to fall asleep. But this can look more like laying in their crib happily awake for 30 minutes before dozing off.

3. They are ready to drop a nap.

Another reason your baby may be fighting naps is they are ready to drop a nap. It may be time to drop a nap if your baby's schedule was working fine, but now they are suddenly fighting naps, taking shorter naps, or having more night wake-ups and early morning wakings.

The average ages to drop naps are:

5 Months: drop from 4-3 naps

6-9 Months: drop from 3-2 naps

14-16 Months: drop from 2-1 nap

3 years: drop naps completely

4. Inconsistent boundaries with toddlers.

Toddlers are naturally going to push boundaries and test limits. They want to feel in control and it is normal for them to start to fight you on their nap. Maybe they have FOMO and don’t want to miss out on all the “fun” you are having without them. Maybe their separation anxiety is peaking and they don’t want you to leave them at nap time. These are all very normal parts of toddlerhood. The more inconsistent you are with boundaries with your toddler, the more they will fight you on nap time and bedtime.

If you struggle with boundaries at nap time or bedtime with your toddler, I highly recommend scheduling a call with me. We will collaborate to find a solution that will work best for YOUR toddler and family.